One of the hardest things to do in this world is be you,

Not be who everyone else wants you to be,

But be true to yourself,

It is you no else who chooses what path you take in life,

Who loses or wins the fights,

Who gets back up or knocked back down,

Who draws on your face that smile that frown,

Yes you,

Are responsible for who you,

Become in this world,

You can choose to be a doctor, a lawyer, a painter, a writer

A Muslim, A Jew, a Christian, A liar,

A man of truth, without a religion,

You can choose to have a family or have no children,

You can spend your whole life and chase after money,

You can act in a drama, comedy, funny,

How sometimes we forget it is we,

Who are the producer’s of our life’s movie,

Now Im not claiming to know the right way to live

And I’m not saying be selfish or give,

All I am saying is your life’s a gift,

And what is this gift that you have been given?

It is the freedom to choose the life you are living,

When you were an infant you didn’t have a voice,

But now you are grown and your voice can reach farther than you can imagine,

You can travel the world,

You can start your own business,

You can work for a company and build someones vision,

You can live your life free once you learn that the prison,

That really confines you is really a figment,

Of your imagination and with enough vision,

You can create whatever you want,

You are an artist and this world is your canvas,

Paint something beautiful and make your like matter,

Are there excuses why you wont succeed?

Of course there are and there always will be,

Before Albert Einstein discovered relativity the teacher’s at school doubted his ability,

He worked several jobs just to get by,

Little did they know he would win a nobel prize,

And JK Rowling who wrote Harry Potter,

She was diagnosed with depression, on welfare with a daughter,

But that didn’t stop her,

She kept on writing,

Rejected 12 times but she kept on fighting,

Before Thomas Edison invented the light bulb

he found 10,000 ways how to not make a light bulb,

Did he get discouraged?

Probably yes,

Is it true he saw failure as only progress?

Honestly, I don’t know and I really don’t care,

I’ll tell you what I know: life is rare,

So you yeah you the one hearing this poem,

I may not know you and how life at home was,

It could be in your home that no love was shown but,

Believe me when I tell you that your not alone cause,

All of us struggle,

Myself included,

Struggle is part of what it means to be human,

Don’t let that stop you and keep you from moving

Keep pushing forward the rest is God’s doing!

The post You Can Be Whoever You Want – A Transformational Poem appeared first on We Are Change.

Do you feel stuck in a particular area of your life?  Do you feel stagnant in your relationships, business, or personal well being?  What part of your personality is holding you back and preventing you from taking your life to the next level?  What are you willing to do to achieve that break through that always seems to elude you?

Albert Einstein stated that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results”.  In other words, If you continue to do the same thing today as you did yesterday, why would you expect tomorrow to be any different?

Indeed there is power in remaining consistent when performing particular actions.  For instance, by reading every day one can amass a great amount of knowledge over an extended period of time; by eating well and exercising regularly one can maintain a physically healthy lifestyle; by investing $50/week with the right interest rates one can create signifiant wealth over 20-30 years.

Clearly behaving with consistency under certain conditions has much to offer an individual.  So what is it that Albert Einstein meant when attempting to convey to us the “danger” of doing the same thing everyday?  What types of repetitive behaviors should we remove from our daily routines?

If you are lazy and unwilling to work, the chances of your career blossoming will be bordering on non-existent.  If you are unkind and inconsiderate to others the likelihood of you making new friends will be considerably low.  But is this not well known to the common individual?  Is this really what Albert Einstein meant to instill within us: the superfluous concept that repeating negative behavior will never produce positive results?

I perceive Einstein warning us of the inevitable consequences of complacency and highlighting “comfortability” as one of the most common ingredients that spoils our ability to manifest our potential.  After all, what is done routinely often times loses flavor due to its monotony.

New levels of achievement and advancement are not experienced by those who are unwilling to stretch themselves beyond their breaking point.  When Albert Einstein urges us to not do the same thing today as we did yesterday, I do not believe he is referring to the specific acts we are engaged in; but rather to the way in which we engage in our actions.

When I started my life coaching and motivational speaking company over a year ago I was petrified; I was uncertain what I should teach, who I could reach, and how I could reach them.  I began by speaking in two drug treatment centers per week and within 6 months had quickly grown to over 10 per week.  But something happened over the next 6 months.

I began to feel very comfortable speaking in treatment centers.  It became easier and easier the more experience I obtained.  I began to feel as if I had reached a plateau and progress felt out of reach.  I reached out to a mentor of mine who reminded me about the importance of constantly trying new things and getting out of my “comfort zone”.

The next day I “hit the pavement” and began promoting myself to high schools.  I entered into a new arena where I had no contacts and connections and was uncertain of how they would respond to my pitch.  Within one week I had booked my first gig which quickly gave birth to a second.  As I am writing this to you, several more opportunities are opening up.

I do not know what the future of my company will be, but I do know that it will become what I will make it.  The secret of achieving greater levels of success is completely dependent upon my ability to consistently “get outside the box” and break free from my comfort zone.

If you have a desire to create a break through in a particular area of your life start by asking yourself these questions:

Where have I created a “comfort zone” in my life?  Where have I fallen into the clutches of complacency?  How can I free myself from it’s grip?

Complacency will forever be the antithesis for further growth, transformation, and success.  If you authentically desire to create new levels of achievement in your life it is essential to constantly explore the territory of the unknown.

Read between the lines of Albert Einstein’s message and expand your horizons each and every day.  Be cautious of getting too comfortable; do not allow complacency to take control of your life and prevent you from making progress; try new things every day and approach every waking moment with passion.

The post Avoid The Dangers of Complacency – And Earn A Major Breakthrough appeared first on We Are Change.

Why is it so hard to let go and forgive others?  Why is it often times most difficult to let go and forgive yourself?

There is a parable about two Buddhist monks walking along a river bank.  Suddenly, they notice a naked woman lying unconscious beside the shore.

Without hesitation, the wiser and elder of the two ran to pick her up.  His pupil followed and together they took a raft across the river, bringing the helpless woman to shelter and safety.

For the entire journey the elder monk held the naked woman in his arms as the younger monk stared at him in bewilderment.  As part of the commitment to their spiritual path the monks had taken a vow to never touch nor behold a naked woman.

The younger monk could not understand how the elder monk could break his vow so easily.  Every passing minute since they had dropped off the woman, the younger monk became more and more filled with judgment towards his companion.

Three hours had gone by and the younger monk could no longer contain himself.  He gathered his strength and asked his companion, “how could you hold that naked woman for so long”?

The elder monk calmly replied, “if I did not rescue that woman, who knows what tragedies would have befallen her.  Besides, I let go of her hours ago.  You on the other hand, are still holding onto her now”.  The younger monk smiled as he realized the lesson the elder monk was trying to teach him:

Letting go is a psychological process.  It involves making a conscious decision to forgive and move past whatever or whoever is troubling you.

I am not suggesting that you become a push over and allow people to walk all over you.  In fact, I highly recommend you to be courageous enough to remove the people in your life who are causing more harm than help.

Once you have determined a relationship to be toxic, cut the chord and let go of all the resentments attached to that individual.

After all, what good will come out of holding a grudge against someone who is no longer a part of your reality?  Why force yourself to relive a moment of unhappiness and disappointment that belongs to your past?  Why cause yourself physical and mental distress while the person who caused it roams free and without worry?

The young monk in the story carried the naked woman in his mind three hours longer than he had to.  How many times in your life have you carried negative emotions for hours, weeks, months, even years longer than was necessary?

Letting go does not always mean letting go of a relationship.  Sometimes it means working through the hurt emotions you feel and granting the person you care about forgiveness.

Every relationship, whether good or bad, will come with a price.  In fact, often times the greatest relationships are the most expensive (require the most effort and many times the most forgiveness).

It is much easier to repress and hold onto ill feelings than it is to process and release them.  It requires an effort to let go and forgive yourself as well as others.

Whether you decide to end a relationship or maintain a relationship, letting go of negative emotions is always the wise decision.

Life becomes lighter.  Your head becomes clearer.  Your heart becomes freer.  Your soul ascends higher.

Once you acknowledge that letting go is more for your own peace of mind than anyone else’s, the next step is speaking about whatever is weighing heavy on your heart.  It is often times most effective to communicate directly with the individual who has caused you distress.

At times when you find this method to be inappropriate you can speak out loud to the universe, with a close and trustworthy friend, or perhaps even write out your feelings onto a page.  By verbally communicating about your negative emotions you allow them to be released from your mind, body, and spirit.

Like the younger monk, you allow yourself to release your judgments and resentments and open yourself up to gain insight and clarity from a universe that has your best interest in mind.

One of the reasons why so many people are unhappy today is because they have no space for happiness to enter their lives.  They allow themselves (for all the right reasons) to remain imprisoned by ill feelings towards themselves, others, the universe, etc.

Today, make the decision to set yourself free by letting go of the negative emotions that are bombarding your life and create a space for happiness and clarity to penetrate your being.

The post How “Letting Go” Can Positively Enhance Your Life appeared first on We Are Change.

Do you believe you chose to be born to your parents? Do you believe you chose to be born in your body? Do you believe you are who you are for a reason? Or do you believe everything is random?

Whatever you believe, one thing is for certain, once you reach a certain age, you either embrace who you are or you continue to fight against it.

There are those who believe we were born against our will and we will die against our will; But what of our will while we are between life and death? What of our will when we are engaged in the process of life?

You cannot exchange your life for another’s as if the universe were a department store. You are who you are whether you like it or not.

The question remains: What will you make out of what you have been given?

You have been given a body, a soul, and an allotted amount of time. You can choose to waste that time or embrace that time.

Time is not inherently good nor bad, time simply is. Time is of limited supply.

Time can be a reason to be happy. Time can be a reason to be sad. Time is a reason to be happy when it motivates you to make something of yourself. Time is a reason to be sad when you realize it is slipping away – before you ever found something worthwhile to hold onto.

Time can be your enemy or your friend depending on how you choose to relate to it.

Choose.

Now there is a powerful word. How many people have died before realizing they had a choice? How many people have died fighting for your freedom to choose?

The world wasn’t always as it is today. There is no telling how the world will be tomorrow.

Only time will tell the tale of the future. The tale of the future is told by the present.

In this present moment you have a choice. You can choose to be whoever you want.

Until you realize that, you have robbed yourself of your most precious possession – Your freedom to choose!

It is true that we are all products of our environment, molded and shaped by what we perceive of our experiences.

If you are not happy with where you are in life, choose to be in a different place. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best of you.

Stop making nature fight against nurture. Help nature greet nurture with a loving embrace.

I do believe you were born for a reason; But it is up to you to tell the world what that reason is.

Do not expect your life to change if you are unwilling to change it.

For although you do not remember choosing to come here – And although you may not choose when you will leave – You will choose who you will become – And that is what Free will is all about!

The post The Freedom To Choose! Your Attitude Will Determine Your Life appeared first on We Are Change.

Imagine you have an open wound on your hand as someone comes to shake it. What do you feel?  Pain!

The pain is not being caused by the person shaking your hand.  The pain is coming from your wound and is being activated by the person shaking your hand.

The people in your life have wounds as do you.  When someone becomes angry with you there is a very good chance you have unintentionally touched one of their wounds.  Where do wounds come from?

Some come from our childhood while others come from our previous relationships.  All of our wounds are emanating from emotional distress we have felt in our past.  What can you do when you realize you may have touched a wound of a loved one?

When a wound is being touched it can reawaken within a person feelings of being unloved, devalued, guilty, ashamed, rejected, abandoned, etc.  Given the unpleasant nature of these emotions most people resort to anger.

Anger serves as a quick fix to hide and conceal the hurt that an individual is feeling.  Similar to a drug, anger helps disguise a person’s problems even from themselves.

The person who is lashing out at you in anger doesn’t want to hurt you – they unconsciously want to protect themselves from feeling hurt.

Once you are able to see your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, or parent for who they truly are – a hurt person rather than an angry person – you will be ready to confront the situation in a much more effective way.

Instead of defending yourself and retaliating with anger (which never works), you can strive to help them understand the pain they are feeling.  You can strive to help them discover the origin of their wounds.

Show them support by validating their emotions as opposed to shutting them down.  Ask them from a place of love and care:  Why are you feeling upset?

This question may cause them to re-examine their own role in the situation.  Perhaps they will share with you what it is you did that caused them to feel hurt.  Perhaps after introspection they will discover that you were not the only cause for their pain.  Perhaps they will realize they have some unresolved “issues” inside of themselves.

It is not our job to to do the “moral inventory” of others.  It is our job to improve ourselves and do our best to support the people we love to do the same.

We are all human beings and we all make mistakes.  In my own relationship, I have failed several times in applying the insights I have shared with you today.

But I can tell you that when I did choose to see my girlfriend as hurt as opposed to angry, when I did choose to try to understand as opposed to fight back, not only did I save myself from an unnecessary headache and make her feel supported – but I felt a deeper and closer connection with her.

This week do not be fooled by anger.  Remember: Anger is a mask for negative emotions that a person must embrace and confront in order to heal themselves.

The post VIDEO: This One Mental Trick Can Help You Defeat Anger appeared first on We Are Change.

Today’s message is about the power of mindfulness.  Mindfulness is a state of awareness regarding the thoughts that are entertaining your mind.

Imagine your life as a movie and you are the main actor.  All of your thoughts are being typed across the screen.  What do your thoughts look like and what are they saying about who you are?

Are your thoughts promoting self-confidence, motivation, and perseverance? Or are your thoughts consumed by self-doubt, worry, and fear?

Did you know that approximately 85 percent of the things you are worrying about will never actually materialize?  Did you know that of the 15 percent of your worries that will materialize, the majority of them will be easier to handle than expected?

Worry has been linked to marital problems, clinical depression, family disfunction, heart disease, and more!  It is ironic that while the problems created by worry are very real, it appears clear that the majority of our worries are merely imaginary.

The first step to mastering mindfulness in your day to day life is becoming aware of this fact: The majority of your worries are not real!  They are self-created misconceptions that you are allowing to create fear, anxiety, insecurity, and sadness in your life’s movie.

The purpose of this message is to remind you: Although you cannot always control the thoughts that enter your mind, you can control the thoughts that entertain your mind.

Life is short.  Moments pass.  Opportunities come and go.  It is your choice to create a life that is worthwhile or to continue to let life pass you by.  The reality you will create and experience is directly related to the thoughts you allow to occupy your mind.

Today make a decision to:

# 1  Cast aside your regrets about the past.

# 2  Let go of your fears about the future.

# 3  And embrace all that the present has to offer you!

Be mindful of your actions, words, and thoughts and plant the seeds that your future self will thank you for.

The post The Power of Mindfulness appeared first on We Are Change.

I met with a private client recently and his story was shocking.

For the sake of our story, let’s call him Jonathon. Jonathon is a young man in his early twenties who is struggling with substance abuse. He has been in and out of treatment centers for the past 4 years and is battling heavily with guilt, shame, and regret. His inner battle with these destructive emotions stems from the fact that his first and only child passed away at the age of 3.

At that time, he was doing better than the mother of his child, Nicole. He was more on top of his addiction issues than she was. He and his mother had custody of the child and were doing their best to raise him. One day, they both had work and Nicole offered to watch their son, Jack. With some hesitation, Jonathon agreed to bring Jack to her house.

While he was at work, Nicole was playing with Jack in her backyard by the pool.

She went inside for what felt like a blink of an eye and upon her return found her son, deceased on the bottom of the pool floor. As you could imagine, Nicole, Jonathon, and his mother were devastated.

At the age of 20, Jonathon was now experiencing one of the most painful circumstances a human being can endure; the loss of a young child.

Upon hearing this story I found myself pondering the purpose of pain in our lives.

Was this something Jonathon had to go through to clear some karmic debt?

Was this something Jonathon had to go through in order to learn a particular lesson?

Was this something Jonathon could have avoided by making different decisions?

Or was this just something that happened to become a part of Jonathon’s reality?

Why do some people experience such tragedy in life, while others seem to have a much smoother ride?

Since time immemorial, philosophers have contemplated this question and produced various answers.

Some would claim that Jonathon may have taken the life of a child in a previous incarnation; and therefore now he must endure the pain he once caused to another.

Others would claim that the “Ways of God” are beyond understanding and he can do nothing but accept His Fate.

Others, who are more cynical, may say that God had nothing to do with it and Jonathon is merely facing the consequences of the poor decisions he has made throughout his life.

Either way, none of the above explanations provide Jonathon with insight on how to move forward successfully in his life.

What would you do if you were Jonathon?

How would you respond to his circumstances?

How do you respond to the pain that you experience in your own life?

One of my favorite words in the English language is responsibility.

It is comprised of two words: response and ability.

Each and every one of us has the ability to respond to whatever cards life deals us.

How you choose to respond to life will determine the role pain plays in shaping your present and your future.

In his book, A Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankel indirectly explains the difference between pain and suffering.

Pain is inevitable, while suffering is a choice.

Victor Frankel endured and survived the hell of the Holocaust to teach the world that pain can become tolerable when you give it meaning.

When you view the pain you experience as unnecessary and unjustifiable you only prolong your suffering and create your own mental prison.

I am not suggesting that you seek a life of pain; but rather suggest that you decide not to suffer.

Whenever you find yourself in a painful situation, whether it be caused by a death in the family, financial insecurity, conflicts in relationships, or a common dose of self-doubt, view that pain as necessary.

Do not fight against it, but rather welcome it with open arms.

Greet it at the front door and allow it to come inside your home (mind and body).

Strive to find the meaning and purpose that is hiding behind it.

After the brutality of the Holocaust claimed the lives of his mother, father, brother, and wife, Victor Frankel, who endured pain that the majority of us cannot imagine, still decided to find meaning and purpose within his experiences.

He utilized that meaning and purpose to develop logo therapy, which is a form of existential analysis.

By the time he passed away in 1997, his book had already sold over 10 million copies and had been translated into over 24 languages.

His message so deeply resonated within me and forever remains etched into my mind, body, and soul.

As for Jonathon, I am sincerely sorry for his loss.

I do believe it is possible for him to avoid some of the pain that awaits him in his potential future.

But as far as the pain that is already present, the only question left for him to answer is how will he respond to it?

Will he be able to turn his tragedy into some form of a triumph?

The pain that you experience in life is like clay.

It is up to you to mold your pain and define it’s meaning.

What meaning will you give to your pain today?

The post What is The Purpose of Pain? appeared first on We Are Change.