Hillary Clinton Makes GQ’s Annual List of ‘Least Influential People’

Hillary Clinton has been named one of GQ Magazine’s “least influential people of 2016,” alongside Anthony Weiner and Tim Kaine.

GQ described their list as a “comprehensive, anger-fueled list of everyone who ruined our year.”

Topping the list was Weiner, disgraced husband of Clinton’s top aide Huma Abedin, who is under investigation for sending disturbing sexually explicit messages to a 15-year-old girl.

“You idiot. You breathtaking, unbelievable idiot. Don’t even talk to us right now. Don’t even look at us,” Drew Magary wrote of Weiner on the list. “You should just go lock yourself in the pantry and stay there until we tell you to come out, which will be never. Even Woody Allen was never this destructively horny. You asshole.”

Speaking on Clinton’s former running mate Kaine, GQ asked if he even still exists.

“Did he ever exist? Or was he simply an enlarged cutout of a stock photo that Hillary Clinton chose as a running mate because her whole campaign consisted of nothing but tragically safe and conservative choices? I’ve had dreams that lingered longer than this guy,” the list-author noted.

While Magary noted that he hated listed Clinton, “given that liberals turned on her like pit vipers the moment she conceded,” he asserted that he had no choice.

“When you lose an election to Donald Trump, you belong on this list. How do you fuck that up?? It’s Donald Trump! I genuinely doubt whether that man can tie his own shoes, and he still beat her. Would it have killed you to visit Wisconsin, Hillary? I know it’s full of fat people and bad pretzels, but sometimes you gotta come out of your fundraising hole and kiss some babies,” the GQ list reads.

The author of the list says that he will absolutely never get over her shocking defeat.

“I’ll never get over it. I’ll be 80 and on my deathbed and my kids will be around me and I’ll beckon them closer and, in my final moments, I will whisper these words like a secret: ‘I can’t believe she lost to that asshole,’” it goes on to say.