Personal Story: Ayahuasca, Addiction and Awakening

Ayahuasca may not be for everyone, but it was for me. As an addict I had no fear of death, I subconsciously committed suicide daily with every shot of whiskey. Not having a fear of leaving this world behind is what brought me to the Amazon Jungle. “You’ll get kidnapped, raped or murdered!” they all said. Lions, tigers and bears, Oh My! I told them that if I died some tragic death, at least I tried… at least I lived.

You see, addicts don’t fear death; we live it everyday. What we’re afraid of is actually living, facing our fears, not feeling good enough, rejection, abandonment, reliving past traumas and abuse. But death, there is peace in that.

Up until a year ago I had been an alcoholic for almost a decade. I grew up in a very physically and verbally abusive household with both parental figures being severe alcoholics. It didn’t help that my mother and stepfather both worked in law enforcement. This made it difficult for anyone from the outside to step in.

At the age of sixteen I was kicked out of my home and left to live on the streets. To cope with the fear of survival and my hunger pains I would turn to alcohol, heroin or cocaine. Whatever I could get my hands on. By the age of seventeen I was pregnant and in yet another abusive relationship.

Thankfully, this beautiful child of mine grounded me. He brought me peace and stability. More importantly he brought me purpose. At nineteen I was a young single mother. I began dancing at a strip club, as it was the most convenient way to make a living. I could stay at home during the day, raise my child and have an alter-ego party girl lifestyle by night. It was a buffet of cash, booze and attention that temporarily filled my feelings of emptiness. This continued for the next twelve years.

Sometimes it was easy, living on autopilot, but most of the time it wasn’t. As most of us know, addiction is a progressive disease that will eventually kill you. At my worst I could easily down a bottle of 101 proof whiskey and chase it with a handful of Xanax. I was at the point where I knew I didn’t have much time left on this earth.

We’ve all see that show Intervention, yeah… it was like that. What these shows, the media and doctors don’t tell you is that there are cures out there that are in the form of plant medicines. One is Ayahuasca, a South American tea made from the vine of the banisteriopsis caapi (which naturally contains an MAOI) and the chacruna leaf (which naturally contains DMT). Another form is iboga, the root of an African jungle shrub so powerful that is said to cure heroine addiction in one dose.

(In this video Luke Rudkowski talks to Dennis McKenna psychedelics drugs, their role in society, the recent upsurge in knowledge of them and how use of them can transform society. Dennis is an American ethnopharmacologist, research pharmacognosist, lecturer and author. He is the brother of well-known psychedelics proponent Terence McKenna and is a founding board member and the director of ethnopharmacology at the Heffter Research Institute, a non-profit organization concerned with the investigation of the potential therapeutic uses of psychedelic medicines.)

At the time I was looking into iboga treatments in Costa Rica. The average cost at the centers I was looking at was over ten grand and I didn’t have that type of money. Therefore I decided that my focus would stay on Ayahuasca. Also known as the vine of death, the vine of souls and yage.

Through my investigations it became evident that these medicines provided more hope for addicts than that of western methods. It was curious to me why these plant medicines weren’t legal in the U.S. My research continued over the next few years, meanwhile my addiction spiraled out of control. I was a bartender with full access to my fix and the cash to enable my self-destructive lifestyle. When I wasn’t working in a bar I was drinking in one. Always on one side of the bar or the other.

In May of 2013 I finally got the job I always wanted working for a big name in the industry. I thought that this was finally going to make me happy but it didn’t. My drinking and depression worsened to the point where I only left my bed to go to the bar to numb myself enough to go to work. Then do it all over again. I was at my bottom and found myself looking into every western recovery program I could find. Some I had already tried and the thought of a Twelve Step meeting, sitting in a circle talking about my problems, didn’t resonate with me.

Don’t get me wrong, it may work for some but I didn’t feel it was for me. I knew many people who had tried this method and failed. The success rate of “rehab” is shockingly low and I wanted a cure. I didn’t want to struggle with addiction every day for the rest of my life. In my mind I would have rather of kept drinking. Same struggle, same thought pattern. Like an addictive obsession my mind kept bringing me back to Ayahuasca. I now know this wasn’t my mind but the sacred vine calling out to me. I made up my decision, I was either going to go down to South America and explore this option or I was ultimately going to die. This was it, no looking back.

After carefully researching and making connections I got in touch with a family in Ecuador. I booked a flight for November 11th, scrambled to get my passport, quit my job and learned a few phrases in Spanish. A month later I found myself in the Amazon Jungle about to drink one of the most powerful hallucinogens known to man. I was terrified, my life as I knew it was about to change.

Before my first ceremony I sat in the darkness of the jungle amongst seven strangers who all looked just as terrified as I felt. I thought about my journey to this place, to this very moment. How I had traveled for the first time internationally as a woman who didn’t speak the native tongue. That was enough to show me that there was a whole life to be lived and all I had to do was go for it.

I drank my cup of Ayahuasca and gave it thanks. Those first two ceremonies I didn’t feel much. They say that the medicine is gentle with you and likes you to get to know her first. I could feel her moving through my body like an anaconda “diagnosing me.” I didn’t have many visions but there were a few letting me know that I was safe and had nothing to fear.

On the third day we hiked further into the jungle and prepared to go deeper into our consciousness. We didn’t drink Ayahuasca that night; instead we had a tobacco ceremony. We drank a whole bowl full of tea made of mapacho or sacred tobacco. It was to further purify and cleanse our bodies to prepare us to accept the medicine of Ayahuasca.

We had to drink this as fast as possible and wait 45 minutes and then we would purge. After this ceremony the Shaman, more commonly referred to in the Amazon as Maestro or Curandero, turned to me and said, “You have not bled for a long time.” This was true but how did he know this? I didn’t tell anyone. I had a thirteen year old son but had been trying for years to get pregnant and couldn’t. I felt as if another child would heal my sorrow.

I had been to different doctors and referred to specialists but couldn’t get any answers. He said he wanted to give me a healing. He cleansed negative energy from what I now know was my sacral chakra (below the belly button, just above the pubic bone). I went to bed that night confused. What was this? What was going on? What am I doing here? I didn’t feel any different. Maybe this isn’t working.

The following night we all gathered in the Maloka, or ceremony house. I will start by saying that what happened in that ceremony was the most incredible experience of my life. As the medicine started to take effect I began to notice a veil was lifting. I was entering another place or dimension. I was being raised out of my body by beings made of colorful light. These beings did not look like hallucinations. It felt as if my physical eyes were closed but my third eye was completely opened. This made me nervous but also felt assuring and safe, like a child protected by an unseen force. These entities or beings, later known to me as my “healing team” surrounded me and opened up my chest filling it with a bright white light.

About fifteen of them took turns blowing and sending more light into my heart. I was filled with the most tremendous feeling of love words cannot even begin to describe. It was a warm, infinite unconditional love. Tears were streaming out of my eyes and for the first time. I felt pure joy. It was beyond anything I had ever experienced before.

When they were finished with my heart they started at my feet and went through every cell in my body cleansing out toxins. They got to my stomach showing me that the processed food I had been eating was poisoning me. They came to my lungs and showed me all the damage that years of smoking had caused. My stomach started bubbling with all of this sickness they had cleansed from my organs. They brought me back into my body so I could purge but I struggled to make it to the bathroom.

It violently came out from both ends for what seemed like hours. Vomiting and defecating simultaneously while having visions that I was releasing pain, fear, years of alcohol and drugs, toxins from food, childhood trauma, rape, abandonment, rejection, self doubt and self hate. All of which were venomously pouring out of my body at the same time. I was shown that in order to make room for love I would have to purge all of the negativity in my life. I wanted it all out. I was done with all of it and ready to let it go.

After the visions stopped and the purging subsided I started to clean my self up. I noticed blood. I had started my period. I hadn’t bled in over five years. This was a miracle. This was real. Everything that I had just experienced was real. The last thing these spirits said to me before they left that night was the only thing that mattered was love. That we were all connected. We were one and in that moment I felt a part of it all, every tree in the jungle, every animal and bug, the water, the wind and the ground I walked on. We were all made up of the same thing, energy and love.

I spent the next six months traveling Peru and Ecuador learning the secrets of different plant medicines. Ayahuasca cured me of infertility, hypothyroidism, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and most importantly it freed me from addiction. It cleansed my body of toxins, reset my brain to a pre-addictive state and expelled my negative thought patterns. I was able to step outside my world –– as an ego, as a victim, and as an addict –– to see who I truly was, what I truly was, a being created of love. I understood that this body was a gift for me to use to explore this beautiful garden of a planet. Liberated from fear, limits and restrictions, if I choose to walk the path of love, I would remain free, but it was a choice.

Over the next few months my weight stabilized and I felt more alive than ever. I started eating only raw natural living foods. I made sure to drink clean water free of fluoride and other chemicals. I had been initiated by the plants, spirits and Mother Earth herself. The secrets of these plant medicines have been kept hidden in the Amazon jungle for thousands of years, and have seemingly been waiting for the moment that we needed them most. That time is now.

Our beautiful home and planet is dying and we are being called to save her. The only way to do this is to wake up and start loving ourselves and every living thing on the earth.

We must start with the food we eat. This is most important. After this everything else will start to fall into place. Ask yourself: “Am I loving myself by putting this in my body? Does it nourish and heal?” Like the cells in our body, we make up this earth, just like the planets make up our solar system and the universe. If we are not feeding and hydrating our cells properly they cannot do their job and this will cause DIS-EASE. “Let food by thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”

The reality of our outer worlds is simply a reflection of our inner worlds. We need our Mother to live, so do your part and start loving yourself. It’s not easy, I know. I’ve spent the last year cleansing my body and mind, dealing with my past and fear of the future. As I write this today I can say that I have no desire to harm my body with any substance or toxic chemical from food or otherwise. If it didn’t grow from the Earth with love I don’t want to put it in my body. I am now a messenger of the Mother with only this heart full of love and a story to tell. I love you all.


Self Help Article by Melissa MacGregor

The Next Globalist Corporate Takeover Explained In 2min


In this video we have a surprize guest post from “Understanding More” a spoken word artists who under 2 min explains the globalist corporate takeover that is the TPP. With the trade deal being shrouded in mystery benefiting primarily the elite, it’s only the alternative media that has been keeping the public aware of the crave changes that will be enacted from the TPP.

Created by ‘Understanding More’………………

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EgyptAir flight MS804 disappears from radar between Paris and Cairo


1619National carrier EgyptAir said a plane carrying 69 passengers and crew on a flight from Paris to Cairo had gone missing on Thursday, disappearing from radar over the Mediterranean sea.

“An official source at EgyptAir stated that Flight MS804, which departed Paris at 23:09 (CEST), heading to Cairo has disappeared from radar,” the airline said on its official Twitter account.

Later Tweets by EgyptAir said the plane, which was travelling at an altitude of 37,000 feet (11,280m), disappeared soon after entering Egyptian airspace. The aircraft was carrying 59 passengers and 10 crew.

According to, the plane was an Airbus A320 and its last known position was above the Mediterranean sea.

An Airbus A321 operated by Russia’s Metrojet crashed in the Sinai in 31 October 2015, killing all 224 people on board. Russia and Western governments have said the plane was likely brought down by a bomb, and the Islamic State militant group said it had smuggled an explosive on board.

Reuters reported in January that an EgyptAir mechanic, whose cousin joined Islamic State in Syria, is suspected of planting the bomb, according to sources familiar with the matter.

In March, an EgyptAir plane flying from Alexandria to Cairo was hijacked and forced to land in Cyprus by a man with what authorities said was a fake suicide belt. He was arrested after giving himself up.

France’s aviation authority could not immediately be reached for comment.

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We Are Losing the Ability to Think for Ourselves

3d blue stock chart


Vern Gowdie

Dow continues to mark time around the 17,500 level…up a couple of hundred points…and down a couple of hundred. Disappointing earnings has the market looking for direction from somewhere. Gold was steady; the Aussie dollar is up a tad; meanwhile, oil hit a seven-month high.

Interest rates are the hot topic of late. How low will they go? Will the RBA cut another 0.5%? Or even a full 1% or more? Who knows. Least of all the RBA. Taking rates lower is not going to shake the economy out of its deflationary funk.

Central banks have proven they cannot control the monster they’ve created. Which is why one of my ‘election policies’ was to abolish the RBA, letting the market fix the problem instead.

My weekend Daily Reckoning article, ‘Would You Vote for My Policies?’ evoked plenty of feedback.

The proposed policies are, to say the least, unorthodox in our progressive world. In addition to abolishing the Reserve Bank, I also suggested denying the right to vote for those in receipt of welfare — and those that are on the government payroll — making the boards of banks personally responsible for losses, and turning Canberra into a ghost town.

The kindest slap down on my policies was ‘I think that proposal is ridiculous.’Others were less polite.

However, I did manage to garner a few votes. But not quite enough to get me a taxpayer-funded refund of my campaign expenses — oh, and what a joke that little scam is…

In the world we’ve grown up in, there’s no question my policies flirt with the lunatic fringe.

The mainstream would have a field day lampooning my policies…much mirth would be had at my expense. But is it mainstream journalism that’s playing the fool? A little more on that later.

By today’s standards my policies are considered outlandish. However, in the context of history, they’re not new or all that radical.

The US Federal Reserve only came into existence in 1913. Prior to that, the world managed to function without the guiding hand of economic academics.

Granted, the world is more complicated these days — and a good deal of that complication has been a function of central banks doing everything in their power to advance a debt-dependent economic growth machine…ably assisted by the banking sector.

The economic doctors have overmedicated the system to the point where we’ve lost all immunity to any financial virus. We are economic weaklings completely dependent on central banks to administer the latest, and even more lethal, vaccine to ward off the ‘nasties’.

Had the markets been left to their own unpredictable devices to navigate the business cycles, then perhaps our legacy might be a system that is far more robust and better able to handle the highs and lows that come with market cycles.

Global Financial Crisis 2016: 3 Crisis Scenarios, and How They’ll Impact on Australia
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Central banks, the Reserve Bank included, have done us no favours with their attempts (meddling) to smooth out the rough and tumble of markets. Rather than building resilience, they have created a society of sooks… ‘Please drop interest rates so I can afford my debt’, and ‘please Janet do something to prop up markets’.

A genuine market-based economy does no such favours for people.

Making bank directors personally liable for losses is also not a new idea. It existed in the US up until the 1930s.

In 1932, John A Skiles wrote a paper titled: ‘Individual Personal Liability of [US] Bank Directors for negligent and excess loans’.

Here’s a short extract from the paper: ‘The civil liability of bank directors for making bad loans may arise either under the common law or under special statute such as the excess loan statutes in force in many jurisdictions.’

Funny thing, these statutes, along with the bank directors being held personally liable, went the way of the horse and buggy. I wonder whether it was the depositors who asked for these laws to be repealed, or the bankers in cahoots with the legislators? What do you think?

Would making the banks directors’ personal assets the first casualties in a banking crisis make them act a little more prudently? Perhaps the growth-at-all-costs mentality might be a bit more tempered? Again, what do you think?

Why would I want to turn Canberra into a ghost town?

It was former US President Gerald Ford that said ‘A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.’

Be careful what you wish for when you ask for more from government. The beast will become so big it will consume you. We need less government, and more personal responsibility. How do you do this? Hang out the ‘closed for business’ sign in Canberra.

While denying the vote to those directly dependent on government for their income (partly or wholly) will never work in a democracy, the basis for proposing the concept is based on conflict of interest.

If you are a government employee, are you going to vote in favour of a policy to shrink the public sector? If you are in receipt of welfare, are you going to support a party that advocates a reduction in entitlements? While I have absolutely zero hard evidence to support this claim, my guess is the majority will act out of self-interest and vote against both proposals…even though the proposals would be in the long term interests of our nation — and the unborn taxpayers who’ll inherit the bill.

My proposals, while impractical in our modern society, are designed to provoke thinking.

While we think we think for ourselves, there is a very powerful propaganda machine out there that is designed to influence public opinion.

To prove that is not some conspiracy theory, here’s a couple of news article I came across recently.

David Samuel’s wrote a rather long essay in the New York Times on 5 May 2016 titled, ‘The Aspiring Novelist Who Became Obama’s Foreign-Policy Guru’.

Ben Rhodes was the subject of the essay. Ben who?

Ben Rhodes is President Barack Obama’s deputy national security adviser and spokesman.

How’s this for a frank admission (emphasis mine):

‘Rhodes had to sell the Iranian nuclear deal to a skeptical American public. He freely admits that he did so by manipulating a select group of reporters that he and staff think are idiots and moulded them into his own personal echo chamber.

‘It wasn’t difficult. “All these newspapers used to have foreign bureaus,” he told Samuels. “Now they don’t. They call us to explain to them what’s happening in Moscow and Cairo. Most of the outlets are reporting on world events from Washington. The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old, and their only reporting experience consists of being around political campaigns. That’s a sea change. They literally know nothing.”’
Reporters that know nothing, that are being fed an ‘official’ version of events, pass on those ‘truths’ to an even more gullible public.

Then there was this article published by Bloomberg on 31 March 2016, titled ‘How to Hack an Election’.

Here are some extracts from the article:

‘Andre´s Sepu´lveda rigged elections throughout Latin America for almost a decade. He tells his story for the first time.

‘He says he wants to tell his story because the public doesn’t grasp the power hackers exert over modern elections or the specialized skills needed to stop them.

‘“I have always said that there are two types of politics—what people see and what really makes things happen. I worked in politics that are not seen.”

‘As for Sepu´lveda, his insight was to understand that voters trusted what they thought were spontaneous expressions of real people on social media more than they did experts on television and in newspapers. He knew that accounts could be faked and social media trends fabricated, all relatively cheaply. He wrote a software program, now called Social Media Predator, to manage and direct a virtual army of fake Twitter accounts. The software let him quickly change names, profile pictures, and biographies to fit any need. Eventually, he discovered, he could manipulate the public debate as easily as moving pieces on a chessboard…

‘On the question of whether the US presidential campaign is being tampered with, he is unequivocal. “I’m 100 percent sure it is,” he says.’
While they did not ask Sepu´lveda about the Australian election, it’s a safe bet it too is being tampered with.

While this may not come as a surprise to you, I think the extent of the manipulation in traditional and social media goes way beyond what these insiders have publicly admitted to.

Sorting the truth from the lies is an exhausting, and largely futile, exercise.

Who really wants to know the ugly truth?

When the choice comes to enlightenment or entitlement, the crowd takes the latter every time.

I’ll leave you with one final thought from Edward R Murrow: ‘A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.’


Vern Gowdie,

Editor, The Daily Reckoning

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Elon Musk Exposes The Biggest Trick Played On The World

In this video Luke Rudkowski talks about the latest comments of Elon Musk of Space X exposing billions in corrupt pentagon spending on the weapons monopoly in the United States. We go deeper on Musk’s comments and highlight the problem even more and how it works against you. Invest in us here so we can contnue our operation and be a voice for and by the people.


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