When you get upset with people, just remember that THIS PICTURE is what most adults are like inside.
Admit it, sometimes even you behave in emotionally childish, inconsiderate, even narcissistic ways, right? No shame in it. It happens to the best of us.
Deep down, underneath the many layers of shallowness, entitled narcissism, and emotional armor, most of us are really just wounded, frightened little children mirroring the behavior of the unhealthy, pathological culture we’ve been indoctrinated in to. It helps to keep in mind that most people are traumatized, psychologically dis-eased, and need healing, even if they don’t realize it because their unhealthy culture has “normalized” it.
Many adults put on a great big show to seem “tough”, “productive”, and “in control.” Since they’ve never been taught how to maturely process their feelings, they’ve become calloused and insensitive as a way to avoid their own pain, fear, and sadness. This, in turn, often causes them to be emotionally disengaged and inconsiderate towards the feelings of others who hold no importance to their aspirations.
They often distract themselves and disassociate using superficial entertainment, alcohol, or being a workaholic on a hamster wheel that never brings them closer to true inner peace, wholeness, and self-love. Lost within themselves, they compulsively cling to mainstream culture for validation and personal orientation. They demonize those who are different because they’ve demonized the aspects of themselves that are different than what their conditioning has told them to be.
They are terrified of their illusions crumbling in the vulnerable uncertainty of honest self-reflection. They avoid confronting anything that exposes the truth that their entire life (their identity, friendships, job, affiliations, hopes, interests) is based on comfortable lies and illusions. They are completely unaware of how their poor behavior is a direct reflection of their poor relationship with themselves.
We must meet this condition with the light of healing, compassion, and self-love instead of succumbing to bitterness and resentment. After all, even the best of us have found ourselves in to this condition to varying degrees. Only when we lovingly immerse ourselves in the process of psychological healing and holistic self-work can we be more self-aware, responsible, and truly evolve through our distressing, infantile behavior.
As adults, we must learn how to nurture and heal ourselves in ways our parents couldn’t. Through our own healing process, we find a compassionate understanding and distanced empathy for others who are still struggling. This allows us to witness others, navigate our interactions with them, impart guidance when needed, yet not be entangled in the manipulations upon which they thrive. In becoming the living embodiment of a healed, whole, conscious person, we not only transcend petty tyrants, but we uplift those who are ready to heal as well.
For more on beginning the healing process, see my essay on Self-Work.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.